tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86555172923359853302024-03-13T20:00:08.517-07:00Change Is The Only ConstantXxDeathSpreeXxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13372430861762119338noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8655517292335985330.post-85738727931703099782014-12-10T10:19:00.001-08:002014-12-10T10:19:38.312-08:00So Much For Christmas Spirit o/<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
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<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><b>Venting Out Frustrations HAHA</b></span></span><br /> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Feeling depressed all of a sudden. Why
one might ask. Let’s just say I have finally stopped being in the delusion of
denial. Time to accept the fact that I have loads of trust issues and I tend to over-think things a lot. In the past years I used to be quite a negative person.
I have changed, or at least I thought I did. Old habits are hard to die they
say. Well currently, it’s kicking me in the butt. It HURTS a lot. As we can all
see this essay is already the proof of my failure as a human being. Don’t get
me wrong, I have a loving and complete family. We may have fights and have done
grave mistakes in the past, but as the elders say, the past is in the past. The
future and present is what we can do now to change our lives for the better.
The decisions are in our hands, yet I find it so hard to grasp. Despite being
luckier than most, I still find myself trap in a world full of doubt,
especially on the importance of my existence and how much trust I can put in
one person. These thoughts and question replay in my mind like a broken tape
recorder that would not leave me unless I was 6ft underground. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A good example would be, I frequent on Skype
as I use it to communicate with my pals from around the world, the minute they
do not reply me fast enough or give me any hints of unfaithfulness, I immediately
start condemning or doubting our friendship. It is because of this fault of
mine that has left me with friends who, in my mind aren’t real friends. Do you
treasure me as much as I do to you? If I were to put my trust in you, will you
shatter it like the others? Do you secretly hate me? At the end of the day all I
can say is that I truly am sorry for all the things I have done and yet to have
done to make you hate me. Will you forgive me then? Will things remain the
same? Or will I be just a distant memory of a fling you once had? Trap in this
dark abyss with no light at the end, it turns me into a monster. Who am I? Was I
a different person in the past? I can’t remember. All I know is that I have to
please you but in the end I still get hated, what do I do? Can I just
disappear? They say the happiest person is most often the saddest. That I can
vouch for. I may laugh and joke around a lot. But inside I’m hurting, left with
a scar on my heart that will never heal, I try to act tough, after all it is
just a facade waiting to be broken by my overwhelming emotions. One day I’m going
to disappear, and when I do, I’ll look forward to seeing the look of either
happiness or despair on your face, so that I will be able to smile and let go. <br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #604a7b; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #604A7B; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: lumm=75000; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent4; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">They try to measure the depths of all the scars that we have</span></b></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #604a7b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #604A7B; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: lumm=75000; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent4; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">And try to prove to
us that life could be so much more</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span lang="EN-US" style="color: #604a7b; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-style-textfill-fill-alpha: 100.0%; mso-style-textfill-fill-color: #604A7B; mso-style-textfill-fill-colortransforms: lumm=75000; mso-style-textfill-fill-themecolor: accent4; mso-themecolor: accent4; mso-themeshade: 191;">But if you'd only
stop and take a look around, you'd know that we're all the same<br />
</span></b><span lang="EN-US" style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-themecolor: text1;">Quote:
Nano Hysteria</span></div>
XxDeathSpreeXxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13372430861762119338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8655517292335985330.post-69869088823701665612014-06-13T10:57:00.001-07:002014-06-13T10:57:02.218-07:00Frustrations \o/ <span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #351c75; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I love you mum but honestly you drive me crazy occasionally</span><span style="color: #3d85c6; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">:p</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #d5a6bd; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kwDZmT6-7GE/U5s6mQQxlBI/AAAAAAAAADU/ZvKdZFAzn8M/s1600/DELETE.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-kwDZmT6-7GE/U5s6mQQxlBI/AAAAAAAAADU/ZvKdZFAzn8M/s1600/DELETE.jpg" height="302" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mothers all around the world :D P.s We still love you.</td></tr>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #e06666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Honestly sometimes I just want to rip my hair off and then go after yours. Mum I know you want what's best for me but sometimes your approach is wrong. For Example you & dad said that if I wash the dishes I would be allowed to use my laptop. Fine I wasn't angry, I understood that in life you need to work hard to get what you want. And you dear old Froggies <3 are trying to teach me that.<br /><br />But what happens? When I tried to wash the dishes today, mum you told me it's okkay you don't have to wash the dishes. I don't want you to feel as though we are taking advantage of you. So me being the kind & understanding daughter </span><span style="color: #ffd966; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">(</span></span><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">*cough cough*<span style="color: #ffe599;">)</span><span style="color: #ea9999;"> </span><span style="color: #e06666;">decides to wash all the dishes anyway. Guess what?! She still insisted that I should not wash the plates so finally I gave in & well stopped washing the plates. </span><br /><br /><span style="color: #e06666;">Approximately 2 hours later she started yelling at me saying I'm not being helpful around the house, that all I do is laze around etc. Then she told me that she was going to take my laptop away for good. I obviously felt dumbfounded and frustrated hence this RANDOM RANT POST. </span></span><br /><span style="color: #8e7cc3;">I love you but seriously think before you act Mum. P.s I STILL LOVE U LOADS.<br /></span></span><br />
<br />XxDeathSpreeXxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13372430861762119338noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8655517292335985330.post-38260775329830638572014-06-12T12:33:00.000-07:002014-06-13T00:54:53.672-07:00Being A Fujoshi :3<span style="color: orange; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-large;">Becoming A Fujoshi Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To ME \o/</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #a64d79;"> <span style="font-size: large;"> At the tender age of 9, I started watching Anime (Japanese Cartoon). The art was what caught my attention. Needless to say the storyline was intriguing and the moral values taught were beautiful. For Example: Fight for what you believe in, Friends stick together through thick & thin etc. And as every other young girl I started reading loads of shoujo mangas. Once in awhile I would accidentally click on a Yaoi manga thinking it was shoujo and I would get disgusted. </span></span><span style="font-size: large;"><br /><span style="color: #a64d79;"> ONE DAY my elder sister's friend asked me to watch Junjou Romantica telling me I would not regret it. So I obliged and watched it. Upon discovering that it was Yaoi, I didn't click the X button but instead continued watching. I can't remember why I didn't just say EWW & X it but I definitely did not regret it. So begins my Fujoshi lifestyle. Pairing every guy I see in an anime (be it yaoi or straight :p), daydreaming (fantasizing) in school, having WONDERFUL dreams, Handphone & Laptop filled with Smexy pictures, hunting BLCD, bashing my keyboards, drooling (a lot), getting excited upon hearing news of a yaoi anime being released & lastly regretting not learning Japanese (Fujoshis will get what I mean ;) ). </span><br /><span style="color: #351c75;"> NO JOKE : I Dare SAY that I've read 99% of the amount of Yaoi mangas that were released on the net.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #a64d79; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">P.s. If anyone is reading this, especially a Fujoshi, feel free to ask for recommendations or Smex</span>y Pics ;)</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I hope I don't get reported for this XD But GOSH MY OTP. Don't they look lovely. My kokoro!!!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="color: #cc0000;">Ending it here :'( I'm going to pass out soon :[ 3.30am] ) : Sleep is for the weak, so they say XD</span><br /><br /><span style="color: #a64d79;"> </span></span></div>
XxDeathSpreeXxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13372430861762119338noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8655517292335985330.post-80457520226152158592014-06-11T12:41:00.001-07:002014-06-11T23:30:51.128-07:00MY DEAR MEATBALL/ OLDTIME BESTIE<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;">My Dear Dear Dear Meatball OwO</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"> Hello Dear readers (if there are any). My friend introduced me to her blog : <span style="color: purple;"><a href="http://thedoorisalwaysopenforthosewhowait.blogspot.com/">http://thedoorisalwaysopenforthosewhowait.blogspot.com/</a></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br />So for some odd reason i felt compelled to make my own blog. Thing is I had a blog but thanks to my OH SO AWESOME MEMORY i forgot the password & email.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif;"><br /></span> My first entry of the year and also on this blog is going to be about my Dear friend Meara a.k.a Meatball :D She kinda indirectly hinted me to write about her EHE. <br />
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FLASHBACK: When i first met her i was 12 or maybe younger? She and I clicked and as every other normal kid we did stupid stuff, gossip :p ...etc. We would tell each other everything (i think lol), even went to the same bible study, went through puberty together aha, had many things in common and eventually we became inseparable. As for her family. Her father was & is still a great cook, my favorite dish would always be spicy noodles with God Knows what secret magic ingredients he puts in :) As for her mother she is a great singer & loves to see children eat? HAHA but best of all they were kind people. I'd have to admit that throughout this friendship I discovered the many flaws she and I had. Guess this is what they call growing up haha XD! So high school came along and Bitches were dealt with though it did quite a lot of damage to our friendship. Praise God we pulled through :D I guess as we grew up (got more mature *SARCASM INTENDED*), met different people, discovered more about ourselves (identity) we kinda drifted. At least that was how I felt. <b>I still feel like that occasionally and do miss the times we had when we were younger :3 I do thank God that we are still good friends (not as close as we used to be but better than nothing). LOVE U LOADS MEATBALL (happy now?)</b><br />
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<b><br /></b>I could literally write a book on our history but i prefer not too :) Don't want the readers to fall asleep now do we :p<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One Day We Shall BE AWESOME GRANDMA BESTIES & KICK SOME TEENAGE ASSES!</td></tr>
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<br />XxDeathSpreeXxhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13372430861762119338noreply@blogger.com0